I want to change churches but am afraid of what my church will say?

You need to approach the church on a full moon of the sixth month of the year. Slowly, mind you, you don't want to frighten the creature. Tell it of your departure and when it comes to tear you bit from bit for abandoning it toss a hunk of meat smothered in your scent at it and run. With any luck it will think it devoured you there and will not pursue you in the future. Godspeed.