My husband's difficult cousin?

I am so sorry that the situation is what it is - it sounds like a sad case of incompatibility, with no one being completely wrong and no one being completely right. It is causing all of you stress and bringing out the worst in your cousins - so please try not to see them as monsters. It may be that you missed some cues that may have been basic for someone of the same culture, and this misunderstanding has led to lots of angst - its common, don't beat yourself up about it. You'll just have to get through it. I will tell you what will be appreciated once you leave however. Please acknowledge their kindness and generosity during your time of need, and apologize that things had not gone smoother. Since you are family, this will go a long way towards healing and civil relations. Keep in touch and always ask about this kids! Good luck to you, and I hope the next move is a good one!